Unmasking the enemy

It’s nearly nine months since The Headache began, and there is still no diagnosis.

For me, one of the hardest things about dealing with this situation has been not knowing my enemy.  Not only did I know nothing of anatomy, but I found it very difficult to recognise exactly where the pain was coming from.  When you are overwhelmed with headache and nausea and referred pain, it’s almost impossible to see through all of that to identify what’s actually causing it all.

For most of these 9 months, I had a long list of symptoms and neck pain was some way down the list.  After seeing a massage therapist, who was able to eliminate and reduce various spots of referred pain, I was able to come to my own conclusion that the source of the pain was the remaining grinding sensation in my neck and request that this be investigated further.

I still don’t know exactly what is going wrong in there.  I am waiting for the results of a second MRI scan on my neck.  I am hoping against hope that it shows nothing, and that we can then get down to working on the basis that it is caused by some kind of tension in the neck muscles.

Throughout this process, I’ve read about many possible diagnoses that I have then tried to eliminate.  Some of them have – frankly – scared me, and I still fear the diagnosis that might mean that this is serious and / or permanent.

But I feel a strong need for some diagnosis, for someone to tell me exactly what’s going wrong, to unmask the enemy, to give it a name.  I wonder if my doctors need this, too – if “it” had a name, one that they recognised, that there is a precedent for, maybe I could finally get some help?

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