Has pain affected your relationships?

I’ve been very selective about who I spend my time with lately.  Living with pain has made me selfish.  No more the nice girl who patiently listens to everyone’s problems and goes along with what other’s want to do.  For now, it’s all me, me, me.

In a way, I think this has been good for me.

I’ve discovered that there are some people who I’m always happy to see – people who are kind, supportive, willing to listen without judgement.. and there are those who, well… aren’t.  And there are those who mean well, but that I just don’t have the energy for.

I don’t mean that I no longer want to be friends with these people – not at all – it’s just that I don’t have the fight in me at the moment.  I have found that living with pain is lonely.  Sometimes, being with the wrong people can be even lonelier.

There are certain people that I owe a world of gratitude to.  Living with pain really shows you who’s who.

What do you think – has pain affected your relationships?



6 thoughts on “Has pain affected your relationships?

  1. krisdw76 says:

    Yes! Pain has really affected my marriage, relationship with my kids, and some friendships. There’s more stress between my husband and I. And one of my friends told me this ” when suffering from pain/health issues for a long period of time, you really know who is your true friend”. Some people get sick of me breaking plans and most of them just don’t understand. Its true, living with pain is quite lonely. Good post!

    • Toni says:

      Thank you, it’s always so good to know someone else experiences the same thing. I have friends who are bored of me these days for breaking plans, too, I remind myself that it wasn’t so long ago that I didn’t understand either. Thanks for your comment :)

  2. fibroprincess74 says:

    Pain has effected many relationships. Yes, we do have to be selfish in order to take care of ourselves. Many times I can’t take phone calls because I am laid up in bed. My friends have to come to realize that I need to be selfish for myself. I need to rest and let the pain meds take their course. Sometimes we can’t be there for our friends. But, we also might need to reach out to our friends for help and that’s when you find out who your real friends are. If they are willing to come over and see you at your worst!

  3. Toni says:

    Thanks so much for your comment :) It really made me smile because there has definitely been a direct correlation between how good a friend is and how bad the outfit they’ve seen me in!! Mismatching pyjamas / socks with holes / sticking up hair = best friend!!! Wishing you wellness x

  4. Dr. Michael Zitney (@mztorontopainmd) says:

    Don’t forget that when you deal with negativity you add STRESS to your life (bad for pain); when you have encouraging, supportive conversations and you engage in fun, distracting activities, especially with someone you like, your brain releases ENDORPHINS (good for your pain). You are not being selfish by cutting negative, stress-inducing people from your life, you are being HEALTHY. The best way to tell is how you feel after you hang up the phone with someone.

    • Toni says:

      All very true. Worth remembering when I’m in pain and don’t feel like seeing anyone – it always feels good to be with the right person and find my sense of humour again! Thanks very much for your comment.

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